Gabriella in the Hood

Gabriella in the Hood
by conrad panganiban

Mac G - early 20's
Gabriella - mid 30's

Setting: Sidewalk. East Oakland. Present.


GABRIELLA
What? You're cutting out. I said that I'm in East Oakland. It's near San Francisco. I'll be fine. What? Research. I'll see you soon. Love you. Hello? Hello?

MAC G
Nice phone.

GABRIELLA
Thanks.

MAC G
Looks expensive.

GABRIELLA
Not really.

MAC G
Give it to me.

GABRIELLA
What?

MAC G
I said give it to me and your bag!

GABRIELLA
Are you in a gang?

MAC G
What?

GABRIELLA
Are you in the 12th Street Crew?

MAC G
Bitch! I ain't playin'! Does this look like a toy?

GABRIELLA
Crap. Hold up. Can you say that again?

MAC G
What?

GABRIELLA
Start off with 'bitch'! I like how you said that.

MAC G
Fo realz, I ain't playin'! Get that tape recorder out of my face.

GABRIELLA
Biatch!

MAC G
What you call me?

GABRIELLA
No. Can you say that again and add 'Biatch' to the end of that.

MAC G
What the fuck? Nobody says biatch.

GABRIELLA
What about 'bizzle mah nizzle'?

MAC G
Just give me your shit! Damn, this bag's heavy! What the fuck you got in here?

GABRIELLA
Just some books and paper.

MAC G
That's it?

GABRIELLA
Yeah.

MAC G
Then give me that too.

GABRIELLA
You can take everything but this. I have all my notes recorded on this.

MAC G
Imma bust a cap in yo ass if you don't give that to me!

GABRIELLA
Good stuff! 'Bust a cap in your ass!'

MAC G
In YO ass!

GABRIELLA
Right. 'In YO ass!'

MAC G
What the hell are you doin'?

GABRIELLA
Research. I'm writing a script about girl from the rich suburbs kidnapped by a gang and then chooses to become one of them to spite her over-protective parents. It's going to be called, "Chloe in the Hood."

MAC G
What? That story's hella wack!

GABRIELLA
Why? Because your gang wouldn't kidnap anyone, right?

MAC G
Stupid cuz no one chooses to be in a gang.

GABRIELLA
But it's to spite her parents.

MAC G
I'm just sayin' that shit ain't real.

GABRIELLA
Then what is?

MAC G
I'm warning you! Get that shit out of my face.

GABRIELLA
Research. I need to know what you know about the gritty life in the innercity.

MAC G
Told you this ain't a game out here! Shut that recorder off, before I permanently shut you off!

GABRIELLA
Oooo... that's good! What's your name?

MAC G
Fuck it! You're pissing me off.

GABRIELLA
Hey! Where are you going with my stuff?

MAC G
You wanted life in the innercity? Think of me as Ashton Kutcher of the hood. You just got JACKED!

GABRIELLA
I need your name for the movie.

MAC G
Movie?

GABRIELLA
I might not give a shit about my things, but I believe in being fair. Do you want to help me out?

MAC G
With the movie thang?

GABRIELLA
I need to fly out to L.A. in a couple of days, but I can't leave without a story - a Real story. And I don't think I can do that without your help. So, are you interested?

MAC G
Marcus Gardley, but everyone calls me Mac G.

GABRIELLA
Gabriella Montez.

MAC G
Like from High School Musical? Uh... I mean. Yeah. Fuck. My lil sister watches that shit.

GABRIELLA
My husband Troy wrote the screenplay. So, do we have a deal?

MAC G
Will I get paid?

GABRIELLA
As a consultant.

MAC G
Fuck yeah, I'm interested! I mean. Yeah. S'all good.

GABRIELLA
Great! Thanks. Take my card from my bag.

MAC G
Oh shit. Sorry. Here's your shit back.

GABRIELLA
As I said, take this card and call me tomorrow and we'll make this story work.

MAC G
Coo! Hey, do you think that you can hook me up with that Montez girl from that movie? I mean, so I can get an autograph for my lil sister.

GABRIELLA
Consider it done.

MAC G
Coo... I mean, Thanks!

GABRIELLA
Fo sho.


THE END

NOTE: This is written as an exercise for my Playwriting Workshop. The workshop is offered through Bindlestiff Studio in San Francisco for their Stories High Program. The assignment: Write a scene with two characters. Character A wants something tangible from character B, and character B wants something intangible from character A.

Michael Jordan Killed the Fil-Am Mullet

Michael Jordan Killed the Fil-Am Mullet
by conrad panganiban

Will - Early 20's
Theo - Early 20's
Lisa - Early 20's

Setting: Theo's kitchen. Early 1990's.

WILL
Hey Theo. Theo! Lemme in fool! Open up! Hey... Waaasssuuup?!

THEO
Hey. 'Sup Will?

WILL
What's wrong with you?

THEO
Shhh... not too loud.

WILL
That'll teach you to get drunk for the 3rd time this week.

THEO
It's Spring Break... It's what we're supposed to do. Speaking of which, where the hell was your ass last night? I kept paging you. Jocelyn Enriquez performed at DV8.

WILL
I'll catch her next week at the Fiesta, but last night, I was busy.

THEO
Too busy for (singing and dancing) I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND I DON'T Ouch! My head...

WILL
Where do you keep the aspirin? Take this. I was talking to Lisa last night.

THEO
If you're not talking about Lisa Lisa from the Cult Jam, I'm not listening.

WILL
No. Lisa from Chicago.

THEO
Oh, yeah (yawns) that girl you met at your cousin's debut.

WILL
No, she's my sister's College roommate.

THEO
Same thing. Hey, can we hook up a little later? I need my beauty rest.

WILL
I don't have forever to wait for your beauty to come around. She's on her way here and I need your skills.

THEO
Not now, man. I can't even think straight.

WILL
C'mon. She'll be here soon. My sister's picking her up from the airport and I can't have her seeing me with my hair looking like this!

THEO
Just put on a hat!

WILL
I want to impress her.

THEO
If you want to do that, why don't you just take her to the Warriors' game against the Bulls tonight?

WILL
Duh. That's why she's flying in. C'mon, Theo. Hook a brotha up.

THEO
You coulda hooked me up with a ticket to the game too.

WILL
One step ahead of you, Bro.

THEO
Sit down.

WILL
Thanks, man. Wait 'til you meet her. She's great!

THEO
Yeah. Yeah.

WILL
Remember the way I like it. Short on the sides...

THEO
And long in the back. I know.

WILL
We talked for hours last night about everything. Like the new BoyzIIMen CD and even the OJ thing in the Ford Bronco. You'll love her, Theo. Theo!

THEO
What?

WILL
Dude, you were falling asleep! I heard a snore!

THEO
If your story about Lisa wasn't so damn boring, I'd be awake.

WILL
Shut up and cut. She even told me that Filipinos are different out here than in the Midwest.

THEO
Yeah? (yawn)

WILL
Yup yup. She says that she's never even heard the word 'hella' before.

THEO
Yeah. (yawn) Hella interesting.

WILL
Remember. Keep in long in the back. Hey. Do you still have any more spray in the Aquanet can? I wanna spike my hair in front.

THEO
Yeah... I got.... .... Oh shit!

WILL
What?

THEO
Nothing. Nothing! I'm awake. I'm awake. You said that she's flyin' in just for the game?

WILL
Hopefully not just for the game, if you know what I mean. But, yeah, she got mad knowledge about basketball. Well, duh, she's from Chicago. Home of the greatest basketball player to ever live.

THEO
Bill Weddington?

WILL
No, fool! Michael Jordan. That's her favorite player.

THEO
Yeah. That's cool.

WILL
Are you done yet? Where's the mirror?

THEO
Not yet!!! Uh, almost done.

WILL
Everything okay?

THEO
Of course! Why'd you ask? Everything's fine. Perfect even. You just haven't... had a hair cut in a long while. Yeah. Lots of hair. Lots of it...

WILL
Dude. I'm a guy. I don't have that much hair... which is all on the... floor?! What the hell?! Where's the mirror?!! Where's the... What the hell did you do to my head?!

THEO
I told you I was tired... besides it's the new thang?

WILL
Short on the sides - not all the way around!

THEO
The Fil-Am mullet is going out of style anyways.

WILL
Then let me get rid of yours!

THEO
Now, let's not talk crazy!

WILL
I'll kill you! Where's the knife? You're dead! Come back here!

(Enter LISA)

LISA
Uh, Hi. I'm Lisa. Will's sister found a note saying that Will would be here. But I can come back later...

WILL
Lisa. Hi! It's me. Will!

LISA
I didn't recognize you without your...

THEO
Mullet?

LISA
I was going to say hair.

WILL
Uh, yeah. My EX-best friend and next door neighbor got a little carried away with the clippers, and...

LISA
No need to explain. I kinda like it. The shape of your head looks a lot like Michael Jordan's. I really like it. Especially, how it feels...

WILL
You do?

LISA
Hella.


THE END

NOTE: This is written as an exercise for my Playwriting Workshop. The workshop is offered through Bindlestiff Studio in San Francisco for their Stories High Program. The assignment: Write a scene with two characters in which character A wants something from B, and gets it or doesn't get it, but in getting/not getting it, gets a third, unexpected thing.

Subliminal Devices of Microscopic Marketing

Subliminal Devices of Microscopic Marketing
by conrad panganiban

Harrison - early 20's
Marié (Mah-ree-yay) - early 20's
Mirabella - early 20's

Setting: Harrison and Marié's apartment

MARI´E
Looks like they got you good, Harrison.

HARRISON
Shh... you don't have to yell. How bad does it look, Marié?

MARI´E
Lemme see. I don't think that a penis on your forehead will come into fashion soon. Luckily, markers aren't too permanent.

HARRISON
Fuckin' Squiggy! He's always carrying around a Sharpie. Oh, my head. I swear I'll never drink again.

MARI´E
Sure you won't. Hey, I was wondering, didn't you have a class with Professor Lee?

HARRISON
Yeah. I'm glad I got that class out of the way.

MARI´E
Who'd of ever figured that a class called Business 319: Subliminal Devices of Microscopic Marketing would be so hard?

HARRISON
It really wasn't that bad.

MARI´E
Wasn't that bad? Did you hear about that one student a couple of semesters ago?

HARRISON
Jeremiah Splat?

MARI´E
That wasn't his name.

HARRISON
What else do you call someone who jumps off the fifth story of the Business building after failing one of Professor Lee's tests?

MARI´E
It wasn't just a test. It was a final. Not only that, it was the Final Final. The one all marketing majors need to pass to graduate. And you're saying that it wasn't that bad?

HARRISON
Eh...

MARI´E
So, what'd you do get through it?

HARRISON
I'm just naturally gifted. What? What? Okay, fine... with... where is that thing? Bingo! With this.

MARI´E
Big whoop. Everybody needs that for the course.

HARRISON
Open it.

MARI´E
What the...? Where'd you get this?

HARRISON
And you said that the only benefit for joining Zeta Omega Psi was the Raging Keggers!

MARI´E
Isn't it?

HARRISON
Well, yeah. But another thing is hookups from frat brothers. Squiggy gave it to me.

MARI´E
I love you, Harrison! The notes in here will so get me through to graduation.

HARRISON
Sorry. I'm giving this to Mirabella.

MARI´E
But you know how much I need this to graduate!

HARRISON
You can buy one from the bookstore.

MARI´E
Hello? I can't buy the Teacher's Edition at the store.

HARRISON
Sorry, muchacha. Yo no can-oh do-oh.

MARI´E
My dad will kill me if I don't graduate!

HARRISON
I already promised her.

MARI´E
I'm your roommate.

HARRISON
But you don't sleep with me.

MARI´E
I will if you give me the book.

HARRISON
Ew... you're like my sister.

MARI´E
You're right. I think I just threw up in my mouth. Okay. Okay. I'll pay your share of next month's rent.

HARRISON
You don't have to do that.

MARI´E
I'll also take care of the cleaning duties for the rest of the semester... including your bathroom.

HARRISON
The whole semester... No. I can't do it. I'm in love with Mirabella. She needs it to graduate too. And when she does, we'll both get good jobs at marketing firms, get married, and live happily ever after.

MARI´E
Don't forget to visit my rotting corpse at the cemetary with your wife, kids, and minivan after my dad kills me for failing that class because you didn't give me that book.

HARRISON
Guilt won't work on me, cuz you're not my mom. Besides, he's not going to kill you.

MARI´E
Yes, he will! When we went to the Philippines last summer, he did things with a bolo knife to a pig that would make Jeffery Dahmer proud of him.

HARRISON
Speaking of which, is there any lechon left in the fridge?

MARI´E
Didn't you even listen to a word I said? And No. Don't you remember what you did to it after the party?

HARRISON
Why? Did I do something inappropriate with it?

MARI´E
You kinda blew chunks all over it. You really don't remember anything from last night?

HARRISON
The last thing I remember was falling into the tub filled with Jello shots.

MARI´E
What about what happened after that?

HARRISON
I woke up naked in the laundry room. Don't tell me that you took a picture of me in there. What's that?

MARI´E
Squiggy borrowed this to take some pictures of ya! What else do we have here? Whoa. Uh...

HARRISON
What? Who is...? Give me that! Oh my God... Erase those picts, Marié!

MARI´E
Do you even know her name?

HARRISON
I don't even know her.

MARI´E
Looks like she got to know you very well.

HARRISON
Oh my God. What did I do?

MARI´E
I know what you will do and that's to give me the book.

HARRISON
That's blackmail.

MARI´E
And this is cheating on your girlfriend.

HARRISON
You wouldn't.

MARI´E
Apparently, you did.

HARRISON
What did I do?

MARI´E
You can start by giving me the book.

HARRISON
Here. Keep it. Crap! What am I gonna do?

MARI´E
Harrison. I was kidding. Look. I'm deleting these. You know that I wasn't really going to show Mirabella these.

(Enter MIRABELLA)

MIRABELLA
Show me what? Hey, babe? Why's there a penis drawn on your forehead?


THE END


NOTE: This is written as an exercise for my Playwriting Workshop. The workshop is offered through Bindlestiff Studio in San Francisco for their Stories High Program. The assignment: Write a scene with two characters. Character A wants a book from character B.

becoming a playwright

becoming a playwright has been 13 years in the making for me. i started writing in 1994 when i wrote a script for the filipino club i was associated with. "ang palengke" started out of a very visual dream i had. i saw all these characters who worked in a marketplace in the philippines and the story was about all of their dreams. i remember physically in the garage of my parents house writing the first draft. what started out as basically writing down everything that exactly happened in the dream, turned into a story that added onto itself. a very weird feeling came over me and something very unexplainable until i recently talked to others who felt the same way i did. nonetheless, i finished the script, had the pcn coordinator and others read it, and on mother's day 1994 had my script produced. what's running through my head was the production process. that was the first time i directed anything as well. and mind you this was BEFORE joining Sinag-tala, so I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE what i was doing. and if you read the script, which is odd, cuz i haven't read the script in a couple of years (it was just by happenstance that i saw the word file on my other harddrive) you'll see how novice i was as a writer. back to the production stuff, i was 22 at the time and i think that was the first time i really stepped into a leadership role. it was then when i also found out what kind of producer/director i know myself to be. i casted about everyone who asked me for a part. BJ was introduced to me by some other folks and I casted him for a part i don't think i even wrote yet. i had to tell a person, actually a key character, that she was out of the pcn because she missed rehearsals and never really felt like she wanted to be with us. then i cast a person who i was a little iffy on about but she did REALLY well. there was A LOT of things that changed between when i first thought of the story to what became on stage, but going through all of that... i found my purpose in life.

i already went through 4 years of college and here i was just FINALLY realizing what i wanted to do with my life, which kind of shows how (in)valuable college can be for some of us. and I'm talking about this now because it's been 13 years later, and i'm finally realizing this "calling." in a month, i'll have a public reading of my first full one act play. "ang palengke" was 17 pages long... "Garden of Dreams" is 55.

Finally FINISHING "Garden of Dreams" has been a long road. i had just finished having my first 10-minute play "BORDERS" produced by Bindlestiff, but it was still after the death of my dad and one of my best friends. The combination of writing and these events shaped this script, so the story just means so much to me. I started the play as a tribute to my friends, and this will remain at it's core. But, this play also signifies the beginning of a solid foot forward on my path. Just in the last month, I've been blessed to have taken some classes by AMAZING and established playwrights in Jeannie Barroga and Philip Kan Gotanda. In total 4 sessions with them. And I've learned so much from their techniques, advice, and experience.

I'm proud to say that "Garden of Dreams" is my first official play. It took me a year-in-a-half to write, but this play was truly 13 years in the making.

Take Me Or Leave Me... Scene

This is a exercise on taking a monologue from a musical and remixing it as dialogue between two people.

===================

Take Me Or Leave Me
Adaptation from Jonathan Larson’s RENT


MAUREEN
Joanne, what’s wrong? I didn't stay and dance at the Clit Club last night, 'cause you wanted to go home...

JOANNE
You were flirting with the woman in rubber!

MAUREEN
That's what this is about!? There will always be women in rubber, flirting with me... Gimme a break.

JOANNE
Maureen, I’m asking you to remember that you’re with me.

MAUREEN
There is only you.

JOANNE
Then don’t flirt.

MAUREEN
What? That’s a part of who I am.

JOANNE
A skank?

MAUREEN
But I’m your skank.

JOANNE
That’s exactly what I mean. Can’t you take yourself seriously? Can’t you take US seriously?

MAUREEN
I am serious… just not all the time like you. Pookie, can’t we just have just have fun?

JOANNE
Don’t call me Pookie!

MAUREEN
What?

JOANNE
All I’m saying is that I want to be yours, and not some nickname that you call all your other skanks.

MAUREEN
Where’d you hear that from?

JOANNE
From Mark. Your ex-boyfriend told me that you called him, and apparently all the other people you slept with, Pookie.

MAUREEN
Fine. I won’t call you Pookie anymore!

JOANNE
And no more flirting with women in rubber.

MAUREEN
Again with the rubber women! Joanne, I walk down the street and men, and women too, yell out, “Hey baby! You lookin’ sweet!” I can’t help that.

JOANNE
Well, you don’t have to acknowledge them.

MAUREEN
What would you have me do just walk on by?

JOANNE
Yes.

MAUREEN
Just in case you didn’t hear me the first time (Pantomimes sign language and speaks) “This is who I am!” I will stop and say hi and let them know me, something that you just don’t get.

JOANNE
I know who you are because that’s what attracted me to you in the first place when I saw you on stage. But do you ALWAYS have to be in the spotlight?

MAUREEN
And be a droll, yet lovable, geek like you? Jesus, why do you have to be so anal?!

JOANNE
Well, this is who I am. I make lists in my sleep. I follow through on my promises. And also unlike you, I need to see what I’m leaping into instead of just putting on a blindfold, wear a stupid smile and just jump.

MAUREEN
You didn’t mind the blindfold the other night. (pause) My point is that every night I’m in bed with you and that should at least count for something. Don’t you see how lucky you are?

JOANNE
Lucky I am?! Me? Lucky? With a mess you?

MAUREEN
Alright, that’s it! I quit! (gathers some of her stuff) All I was asking was for you to take me for who I am… and you couldn’t even do that. I’m leaving.

JOANNE
Fine!

MAUREEN
I’m gone!

MAUREEN exits.

52 Cents

52 Cents
by Conrad Panganiban

Raining. Market and 6th Street in San Francisco. THEOLONIUS is on the street corner with a box of broken umbrellas.

THEOLONIUS
52 cents. 52 cents! Stay dry for 52 cents!

Enter MAXIM as he tries to take cover from the rain holding a Wall Street Journal over his head, talking on his cell phone and trying to hail for a taxi.

THEOLONIUS
52 cents, Mister?

MAXIM
(on phone) Brigid, can you tell the candidate that I’m running late to start her interview? (pause) I’ll be there in 10. Okay. Thanks. Bye.

THEOLONIUS
52 cents, Mister?

MAXIM
Sorry not today.

THEOLONIUS
I’m sellin’ not beggin’. 52 cents for an umbrella?

MAXIM
52 cents?

THEOLONIUS
That’s including tax.

MAXIM Picks up one of the umbrellas. Opens it to find that 2 of the brackets are bent broken.

MAXIM
This is shit.

THEOLONIUS
That’s what you call it. I call it a cover for the top half of your body against the elements, otherwise known as an umbrella. And despite some of it’s flaws, it’s worth 52 cents.

MAXIM
It’s worth almost nothing because it’s broken.

THEOLONIUS
It ain’t broke. It still opens up and happily functions to the will of it’s owner… like protecting that finely gelled quaff of yours. It might not be much but it will have a purpose and I’d have to admit that that purpose is worth 52 cents.

MAXIM
What’s with the 52 cents?!

THEOLONIUS
The cost is a penny for each year I’ve been alive, which I’d have to say is more than nothing.

MAXIM
Look, I’m just trying to catch a cab.

THEOLONIUS
No, you’ll be catching a cold if you don’t buy one of these here umbrellas for only…

MAXIM
52 cents. I get it. If anything, I’d have to admit that you’re persistent.

THEOLONIUS
This is my job. One of the only things I have left in this world since I’ve been living out here for the last five years.

MAXIM
You mean here in San Francisco.

THEOLONIUS
And meaning here on a bench in Golden Gate park, a doorway on Geary, or under a tree near the 80 on Howard.

MAXIM
Sorry, man.

THEOLONIUS
Sorry for what? You didn’t force whiskey down my throat when I did have a home, a family, and a job.

MAXIM
What’d you do?

THEOLONIUS
I was in Realty. How’s that for irony? A homeless man who used to sell homes. And I was damn good at it too. So, I guess that’s where my persistence comes in… speaking of which, that paper of yours is starting to leak.

MAXIM
52 cents?

THEOLONIUS
You know the price.

MAXIM takes out his wallet and pulls out a couple of dollar bills and a business card.

MAXIM
Here’s a couple of dollars and here’s my card. I could really use a persistent sales person.

While THEOLONIUS looks at the business card MAXINE hails and gets a taxi to pull up.

MAXIM
I better get going, Mr...?

THEOLONIUS
Macabenta. Theolonius Macabenta.

They shake hands

MAXIM
Nice to meet you Mr. Macabenta. I’m Maxim. Give me a call.

As MAXIM enters the taxi, THEOLONIUS grabs an umbrella and gives it to MAXIM.

THEOLONIUS
Almost forgot to take your umbrella.

MAXIM
Thanks. Hey, I was wondering, what do you do when it’s not raining?

THEOLONIUS opens up his jacket to reveal a collection of sunglasses.

THEOLONIUS
Can I interest you in some sunglasses? Only 52 cents.

THE END

Room 812

Room 812
By Conrad Panganiban

Characters
Dorothy - 23 year old female
Jasper - 32 year old male
Femi - 27 year old female

Time
Present

Setting
Smoking area just outside of Natividad Medical Center. Salinas, CA.

Lights fade up revealing a bench and a ashtray/garbage can beside the it. Sitting on the bench is Dorothy. She's wearing a black t-shirt with a rock band on it. On her right wrist is a couple of plastic bracelets and on her left is a long pink wristband (or 2 wristbands on top of each other). She's also wearing black cargo pants with safety pins down the right side. Beside her foot is a green canvas bag with a bunch of buttons on it. Stares straight ahead.

A secluded area behind a hospital - the only place where smoking is allowed. Dorothy is there smoking a cigarette. Jasper approaches talking on his cell. He's wearing scrubs.

Jasper
Yes Mom. I know... I told you that I'm busy this weekend... this weekend. no... not next weekend! This weekend. I can't come home... work. Trabajo ko... yes ma. Okay. Bye. I love you too. Ok.... Okay. Yes ma. Okay. I have to go now. I'm with a patient now. Patient! Bye. (he looks at Dorothy who just smiles back at him.) I told myself I was gonna quit. (Takes out a pack and pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. Flames up and takes a drag.) My mom. I love her, but sometimes... hence the marlboro light.

Dorothy
I'm not gonna judge. (holds up her cigarette)

Jasper
Thanks. I'm just not in one of those moods to deal with some health nut junkie who claims that I'm messing up their biosphere with this piece of heaven between these two fingers. In this solitude of ash, smoke, and nicotine lies the calmness that millions of people like you and I only know about.

Dorothy
And that's why you work here. (motions to the Hospital)

Jasper
See, the way I look at it is that's it's a balancing act - I help take care of the health of a couple of lives...

Dorothy
While you ingest the tobacco of lung cancer goodness.

Jasper
A balancing act. Hi, my name is Jasper. (extends his hand)

Dorothy
Sorry. I don't shake hands. Germs kill.

Jasper
And the cyanide wafting in the air into your lungs won't?

Dorothy
Touché, Mr. Jasper.

Jasper
And by what name can I address you with, Miss...

Dorothy
Dorothy

Jasper
Miss Dorothy

Dorothy
And no, I don't have a dog named after the group that sang "Africa" nor a shortened moniker of Dot.

Jasper
Don't worry, I don't see any yellow bricks around here either. Well, except for the northeast corner of the hospital where some homeless guy uses the bathroom at. So, who are you visiting at this fine medical establishment?

Dorothy
My dad.

Jasper
What's his name? Maybe he's on my floor.

Dorothy
He's in ICU.

Jasper
Artemio Cabandig

Dorothy
Nice to know that he's so popular. Did he sing "Memories" on a Minus-One at your nursing station's Christmas Party?

Jasper
He's one of my patients. I'm sorry.

Dorothy
No worries. We all have to go sometime. And his time just happens to be coming soon. He'd always sing that song at all the family parties we'd go to. Sometimes, he'd ask me to sing that song with him. After we'd sing, he'd have me go around the room asking for quarters as a tip or something. I'd split the pot with him, which he'd use to play with during the all night card playing sessions of Paris Paris. When he'd win, he'd call me his lucky charm. (smiles at the memory.)

Jasper
I saw your family up there and in the waiting room. Your sister brought in some lumpia for our staff yesterday.

Dorothy
She got that from my mom. Always feeling the need to feed everyone.

Jasper
I thought that I've already met everyone in your family... except you. Sometimes, when your sister would leave the room at night, he'd tell me about his other daughter... the singer. But when I asked your sister about you, she would say that your dad made you up and just blamed it on his old age.

Dorothy
It doesn't surprise me she'd say that. I just drove in from Seattle.

Jasper
Then, why would your sister say that about you? I'm sure your dad will be really happy to see you.

(Dorothy remains silent staring off into space.)

Dorothy
I haven't seen him, nor anyone in my family in 5 years. I was born a mistake. I'm so much younger than my sister that when she graduated from college and got married, I was left to be the caretaker of both my parents. All this responsibility at 16. I loved my parents, but instead of going out on dates, or going to the beach to chill out, or even watching the newest summer blockbuster with friends, I spent those unbearable warm nights trying not to burn the lumpia while washing up after both of them went to the bathroom. It wasn't fair. So after I graduated from High School, I just left.

Jasper
How could you? Excuse my bluntness, but that was a pretty ungrateful self-centered bitchy thing to do.

Dorothy
Well, what about you and your mom?

Jasper
What about her?

Dorothy
Why don't you want to see her?

Jasper
She's not the one who's dying.

Dorothy
If you're going to read me the riot act, then you better check yourself too. Any one of could die at any minute. When was the last time you saw her?

Jasper
Hey! Don't turn the guilt you have against me. I'm just trying to help.

Dorothy
Well, I'm here aren't I?

Jasper
No, you should be in there. Not out here.

Dorothy
I know. It's just I...

Jasper
(Mockingly) It's just I... It's just I... How long have you been out here?

Dorothy
Feels like a couple of days. Look, you don't understand. I go up there and all hell will break loose with my sister and no telling how my dad will react. He could have a heart attack!

Jasper
He's in the hospital! We're prepared for a heart attack. Look, Dorothy, you might not want to listen to me, but your dad might not even make it to tomorrow. If there's ever a time to make things right between you and him, it's right now.

Dorothy
I can't.

Jasper
Why?

Dorothy
Two months after I split, my mom died. I couldn't even go to her funeral. How could I? I mean... when I left, I needed to escape that feeling of being trapped, suffocated if you will. In this escape, I forever lost the only family I ever knew... and the one I can never get back.

Jasper
But you're here.

Dorothy
Trying to find what I lost.

Jasper
Which is on the 8th floor. Trust me. Working up there isn't always Disneyland. I've seen a lot of people die and I know not one of them wants to have any unfinished business left before they go. By going up there, you're going for him... and for you. If you don't go in there, you might as well stay out here forever and wonder if you'll ever have any home to go back to.

Dorothy
(Flicks her cigarette across the stage.) You're right. I have to make this right. (starts to walk back towards the hospital.)

Jasper
I'll go with you. I can break the ice with your dad... or at least hold your sister back. I can help.

Dorothy
No. I need to do this on my own. You said 8th floor.

Jasper
Room 812.

Dorothy
Thanks, Mr. Jasper.

Jasper
You're welcome, Miss Dorothy. I'll be up soon to see how things are going, okay?

(Dorothy just smiles, turns around and leaves. Jasper keeps looking at her as she exits.)

(Enter Femi)

Femi
You will not believe how crazy it's been in the E.R. We just got this stupid college kid who stapled his yoo-hoo to his thigh. Where the hell do they get these ideas? (she lights up a cigarette and smokes) You know where... fricken MTV. That stupid channel with all those stupid kids going off to spring break to "Party on, Dude! Let's go staple our yoo-hoos to our legs! Party on! Righteous!" (noticing that Jasper's not paying attention to her.) Jasper... Jasper? There's a hot naked chick behind you!

(Jasper turns around.)

Jasper
Where?

Femi
In your perverted little mind you sicko! What up with you? Didn't you hear my story about the kid's yoo-hoo stapled to his thigh?

Jasper
Yoo-hoo? Femi, what are you talking about?

Femi
Nut sack. Huevos Rancheros. Ping and Pong. The berries to your twig. Balls.

Jasper
I'm glad that the years spent at finishing school vamped up your elegant vocabulary.

Femi
He needed a shave too. Fricken jungle down there...

Jasper
I get it. I get it.

Femi
So now that I finally have your attention, why were you staring off into space? Wait, don't you tell me... it has something to do with a girl, right?

Jasper
What make you think that I'm interested in someone?

Femi
When are you not?

Jasper
Femi. Give me some credit, okay?

(Femi just looks at him)

Jasper
Her name's Dorothy. We were out here and we started talking and…. I mean started it off weird, but… it's just been a while since I had a deep conversation with someone.

Femi
Gee. Thanks.

Jasper
You know what I mean. It's just different…

Femi
No need to explain, I see how it is. So where is this Dorothy? Is she partying with some Munchins on a yellow brick road?

Jasper
Haha. She just walked into the hospital. She has to take care of some family business. Didn't you see how cute she was when she walked by you?

Femi
What are you talking about? Nobody passed me.

Jasper
Yes you did. She went through the emergency room doors.

Femi
Okay….

Jasper
No. She was right here. We had a long talk about a lot of her family, and...

Femi
I know that it's been a while since your last date and all, but you really don't have to make people up. I don't believe what the other nurses are saying about you. I just say that you're a little shy and…

Jasper
I'm not making this up. I'm surprised that you didn't notice her pink wristband, the Big Shrimp T-shirt… and her smile.

Femi
What'd you say?

Jasper
Her smile is amazing

Femi
No, before that. What was she wearing? A pink wristband…?

Jasper
Yeah. A bright pink wristband that went almost all the way up her forearm. Oh, and her pants…

Femi
Black cargos with safety pins down the right side.

Jasper
Yeah! Oh my God. You know her? What's her number? I was hoping to get it after I go up and see how she was doing with her family and...

Femi
I swear, Jasper. That's not funny! Don't joke about stuff like that. That's so not cool.

Jasper
I just wanted to know her better. Why? Does she have a boyfriend?

Femi
You're really freaking me out. Just stop it with this story.

Jasper
Why?

Femi
Jasper. Dorothy was here on Saturday.

Jasper
In this hospital? That's impossible. She said that she just drove in and she hasn't even gone in yet. I've been trying to get her to go inside this whole time, but she didn't want to leave.

Femi
Jasper… she was in the ER on Saturday. She got into a car accident… and she died. When I tried to contact her family, I found out that they were in the hospital too. It was then when I found out that she must've been coming to see her father.

(Jasper moves downstage into a spot as Femi is talking and just stares ahead at the hospital. Light's fade out on rest of stage leaving a spot on Jasper and another appearing on Dorothy.)

Dorothy
Thank you, Jasper.

Both lights fade out.

THE END

A Poem for Lola

I'm off to the library to work on my play again, but before i go, I wanted to put this up. I never knew both of my Grandmothers but I felt compelled to write this based on the events of last week. This is a shorter version because I didn't weigh down LISA's dialogue and rhythm within the scene. Also, I'm not a poet. I actually gave up writing poetry since one of my poems got rejected by Maganda Magazine. All wasn't a loss since one of my artworks got published.

Dedicated to my lolas, to LeRoid and xLe's grandma who recently passed (I pulled some of these lines from the eulogies heard), to my Smokey Joe Sister's Granny whom i never met, but I know how much of an impact she made on her, to Francisca Balderama, the closest lola that I've ever had without the blood relation, thank you. And all the lola's who've made a difference to their grandchildren.

R.J.
You can't just jump in and say that there's something wrong with what I wrote and not give tell me how I can fix it.

LISA
I guess that wouldn't be right, would it? Alright… let me get this straight, Jasen's grandmother is on her death bed, right?

R.J.
Right... his Lola, just in case you didn't...

LISA
Riiight. And he's trying to tell her how much she means to him?

R.J.
Right. Also, can you add in the dancing stuff since he's in the Modern Dance segment and he really wanted that in his monologue?

LISA
You're not making it easy on me, are you?

R.J.
Nope.

LISA
Okay...

Lola, I know that you can hear my voice between the ever growing silence between each inhale… and exhale you take.
Please listen to my words of praise and thank yous for everything that you have given me.
From the time I first heard the stories of how you hid in the hills with your children in tow
As strangers invaded our land of golden sunsets and fragrant sampaguitas… again
Protector of my mother and uncle when you moved to a new land of velvet fogged-in mornings and cable cars that went up and down California Street
To the one who helped raise me and my brother
to know wrong from wrong and
right from right
to left to right to left
and back again
the dance steps you taught me from the Jitterbug to La Jota to the Tinikling
of bamboo polls that still resonate from my ears to my core
click click clap
click click CLAP!
I snap out of my trance Lola, when I hear your voice call out to me, “Did you eat yet?”
And before I could even get out the words, “I'm fine, Grandma.”
A plate of Rice and Diniguan is placed before me
Which is made with the recipe, of not chocolate meat, which we Should Not try to pass off as a euphemism to ignorant Western palettes
But made with the special ingredient that only YOU can provide - Your Love
Because of you
I know what love is
Because of you
I know what strength is
Because of you, Grandma
I know the importance of taking the time to take in the essence of a rose with a single breath
To take in the essence of life and how to live it
With each Step
I Take
In Dance
In YOUR HONOR
Dahil Sa Iyo, Lola
Alam ko na kung sino ako
Salamat po at
Mahal kita

Sucker!

Sucker!
a short play by Tropa23

BIXBY (early 30's) and GRASSHOPPER (early teens) sit at MUNI bus stop. GRASSHOPPER is sucking on a lollipop.

BIXBY: You are not 25!

GRASSHOPPER: I am so.

BIXBY: Then what year were you born?

GRASSHOPPER: Why you want to know?

BIXBY: Cuz you look like your...

GRASSHOPPER: 13. I get that a lot.

BIXBY: So... what year?

GRASSHOPPER: What's your name?

BIXBY: Why you wanna know?

GRASSHOPPER: Cuz, I don't share personal information with strangers.

BIXBY: Bixby.

GRASSHOPPER: 1981

BIXBY calculates the age with his finger in the air on an imaginary chalkboard.

BIXBY: I still don't believe you.

GRASSHOPPER: If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.

BIXBY: Then what do you do for a living.

GRASSHOPPER: I'm a CPA.

BIXBY: Shut up! You are so not an accountant.

GRASSHOPPER: That I am.

BIXBY: So you go to work dressed like that?

GRASSHOPPER: Duh? Of course not. I just wanted to take a day off. Woke up this morning, looked outside the window, said hello to the sun, "Hi, Sun." and then said to myself, "GrassHopper, take the day off. You deserve it."

BIXBY: Your name is Grass Hopper? I don't know what's harder to believe, your age or your name.

GRASSHOPPER: Better believe it, Buddy.

BIXBY just looks at GRASSHOPPER.

GRASSHOPPER: You're kinda weirding me out, dude.

BIXBY: I'm still trying to comprehend that you're 25. Do you mind if I see your ID or something?

GRASSHOPPER: Yes, I do mind, cuz one, I don't know you, and two, you're gonna see my address and I just don't have time in include a stalker in my already chaotic lifestyle.

BIXBY: Then what if I just ask you some questions that only a 25 year old would know.

GRASSHOPPER: I ain't doing anything else. Shoot.

BIXBY: Where did you go to college?

GRASSHOPPER: Sac State for my undergrad. Then went to Golden Gate University for my MFA.

BIXBY: Who was your favorite boy band in the 90's?

GRASSHOPPER: I can proudly say, Backstreet Boys.

BIXBY: Your favorite 80's movie?

GRASSHOPPER: Back to the Future. Only the first one, I don't count the other 2.

BIXBY: What kind of car do you drive?

GRASSHOPPER: A 2006 Mercedes-Benz S320 CDI.

BIXBY: Ha! Gotcha! You're so lying! If you had a car, then why are you taking the bus?! Ly--errrr! Liar! You're a 13 year old impersonator!

BIXBY does a little jig to celebrate his discovery. As he dances around, GRASSHOPPER takes out the key to her Benzo.

BIXBY: What's that?

GRASSHOPPER: The key to my benz, which is at the home that I own cuz I hate driving in the city with its superfluous amount of bike messengers and its miniscule number of parking spaces.

BIXBY: Oh... I guess you are who you say you are. Sorry.

GRASSHOPPER: Unfortunately, as I said, I get it all the time.

BIXBY: I'm really sorry. I feel like a complete heel. Is there any way that I can make it up to you?

GRASSHOPPER holds out her hand.

GRASSHOPPER: Hi, my name is GrassHopper.

BIXBY: I'm Bixby.

GRASSHOPPER: There. Reset. Start over.

BIXBY: You know, Back to the Future is one of my favorite movies too... One point twenty-one jiggawatts!

GRASSHOPPER: You don't say.

BIXBY: I do, and I'm also saying that the Regal out in Berkeley is having a midnight showing of it on Saturday, and if you weren't doing anything that night, perhaps you wouldn't mind joining me.

GRASSHOPPER: Sounds like a very tempting offer. But, I'm kind of... attached right now.

BIXBY: Right. I should have known that you had a boyfriend.

GRASSHOPPER: Not exactly. A little more than that.

Enter PAPANG, GRASSHOPPER's dad.

PAPANG: Hoy. Where's my keys?

GRASSHOPPER: Right here, Dad.

PAPANG: Let's go. (to BIXBY) I hope that she's not bothering you too much! These 12 year olds are starting to cause too much trouble.

PAPANG exits.

GRASSHOPPER: Thanks for the invite, Mister, but i gotta jet! See ya... sucker!

GRASSHOPPER exits.

BIXBY just stares in awe, and then goes into convulsions of what he just did. Ew!


THE END

Star-Crossed Love

Star-Crossed Love
A Monologue/Scene by Tropa23

At a store inside a mall. BREEZE is shopping, sees someone, and pulls JULIP to her side.

BREEZE: Don't look over there!

(JULIP looks)

BREEZE: I said don't look! Did he look over this way?

(JULIP shakes her head, "No.")

BREEZE: Thank goodness. Did I ever tell you about him? I didn't. I swear that I had. Doesn't matter. It was such a long time ago, and I doubt that he even remembers my name. But I'll never forget his - Zenith. Not only does it remind me of the old TV my family had where the knob broke off and we had to use pliers to change the channels, oh no, but Zenith as being the man whom was the pinnacle of all the men I have ever... been with. It was a splendid summer's eve because the air smelled so fresh, and there we were locked in each other's embrace in the garden under the shadow of the State Capitol. The heat of passion burned the fire within my heart... and now to see him standing there. I can still feel the warmth. Can you? Please tell me that you do for those deep brown eyes of his can melt the ice off a penguin's behind. But alas, when he left my arms for the last time, these once happy feet can no longer dance on air as they once did.

(BREEZE looks again and he is no longer there. BREEZE steps toward the spot where he stood.)

BREEZE: He is gone. I breathe in the smell of where he stood. He still wears the cologne I bought him for our anniversary.

JULIP: How long were you together?

BREEZE: It felt like eternity for our love had no time limit. All of three days. But what a glorious three days they were. I could tell by your inquisitive stare you have another question of why we are no longer together. What always happens to the love between two star-crossed lovers... our love faded away. Of course, if you were to ask him what had happened to us, his answer would be as transparent as the waters of a river called, Denial. Instead of saying that our co-existence were like two rafts that drifted apart, his claim would surely be that I was suffocating him with my affection. He would say that I called him every second of the day, but dear, what are phones, emails, text messages, and cameras for? Silly boy for misinterpreting my coyness toward him by strapping his arms and legs to the love posts of our bed. I told him I would return later that night for a special supper, which I did. Who would have known how easily the fibers of rope can burn the skin of wrists and ankles? (laughs) It was all a game I told him. Well him and the judge. A flirtatious game of batting the eyelids, twirling of the hair, a carving into the flesh of a little heart on his bronze pectoral muscle. So many fond memories. (sigh) Alas, all good things must come to an end. And as he stood here, I could still feel the passion of his gaze into my eyes as he proclaimed the words, "I never want to see you again, you crazy woman!" So much fire burned behind his eyes and bore into my soul. Oh, the flames of love. How I long for that feeling again. If only... if only had it not be for a court-ordered restraining document that keeps me 100 feet away from his touch, we would be together. Damn the government and the local enforcements that place these shackles on my heart! I am spent. I need air. Fair thee well, my friend. Fair thee well.

BREEZE exits, as Julip's friend, FARGO enters.

FARGO: Hey Julip. Who's that?

JULIP: I have no idea. I need a mojito. I swear you better not leave me again.

FARGO and JULIP exit.


THE END

Fiction Resembles Life

[A song begins and MANDY and CARLOS dance and sing around Juice It. The song has crazy mad beats and it's about making dreams happen.]


As the song ends, a KAREN, enters the store.

CARLOS
Hey, Mandy. Got a customer behind you.

MANDY turns around and freezes.

KAREN
Ate Amanda?

MANDY
Hi Karen.

MANDY goes around the counter and gives her little cousin a hug.

KAREN
How are you doing? I haven't seen you in so long.

MANDY
I know. Since the funeral. Um, so, how's everybody doing down south?

KAREN
We're all doing fine. JB graduated last year and working at Cedar Sinai as a cardiac nurse now.

MANDY
From UCLA, right?

KAREN
Yeah. I'm sorry that you couldn't make it to his graduation.

MANDY
Well, I've been here running this store and the others. Plus, we're always short staffed. You know how good employees are hard to find. Soooo… what brings you here to town?

KAREN
Just a short business trip. I'm leaving early tomorrow for New York, then off to Dallas before heading back home. Hey, do you wanna get together for some dinner tonight?

MANDY
I'm not sure if I can get away. I have to do the totals for our regional stores… and…

KAREN
Well, then. Next time, I guess. Since I'm here, I'll give your dad a call, if that's all right.

MANDY
Of course. He'd love to hear from you.

KAREN
You're still at the same number, right?

MANDY
Same one for the last 27 years.

KAREN
Perfect. If you get off early, give me a call okay?

KAREN reaches into her purse and pulls out a business card.

KAREN (CONT.)
Or you can email… or text. It's all good.

MANDY
Thanks. Hey, did you wanna order something? On me of course, I own the store.

KAREN
Just some OJ. I saw a 24-Hour Fitness across the street and was headed there when I saw you dancing around in here. It made me think about when we were kids and we'd have those shows in the living room for Lola and Lolo. You taught all your cousins the dopest moves from the Janet Jackson videos.

MANDY
Those were the days.

KAREN
You still dance?

MANDY
Me… no. That was ages ago. And that was a silly dream… and this is real life. Here's your juice.

KAREN
Thanks, Ate. I better jet. Give me a call so we can hang out again.

They hug each other.

KAREN
Love you.

MANDY
Love you too.

KAREN exits as MANDY heads to the door to wave bye. MANDY just stares out there for a while and looks down at Karen's business card.

Enter CARLOS.

CARLOS
Hey, you better not let Dick catch you daydreaming again.

MANDY doesn't say anything or turn around.

CARLOS
Chica, what's wrong? Was it my Dick comment? Listen, you might not like Dick… but I…

MANDY turns around.

MANDY
Carlos!

CARLOS
Got you to turn around! Now tell Carlito what's bothering you.

MANDY
My little cousin just came by.

CARLOS
You have a cousin? I thought that it was just you and your dad.

MANDY
It is… but then there's my rich successful alter-ego family living in SoCal.

MANDY hands CARLOS Karen's business card.

CARLOS
Fancy shmancy. It even smells rich. Bet they treat you like Cinderella, before she got all beautified and shit.

MANDY
No, not even. They're really cool, it's just that I wish I could relate. I wonder what it'd be like to not always be living from paycheck to paycheck. To not feel like I'm lower than them. I mean, she never would make me feel bad. It's just me I guess. It just feels like everyone but me gets the breaks. When is it going to be my turn?

CARLOS
That time will come and soon. You're still going to that audition, right?

MANDY
Oh, shoot! That's right. What time is it?

CARLOS
Time to get a watch.

MANDY
Carlos!

CARLOS
Sorry, baby. You know I can never resist when someone asks me that. It's 4:30 child.

MANDY takes off her apron.

MANDY
Cover for me, 'kay? I gotta get home and change. I can't go there looking like this.

CARLOS
Or smelling like that too. Get going girl… and break a leg.

MANDY gives CARLOS a quick hug and exits.

Burgundy, Cerise and an Apple

Burgundy, Cerise, and an Apple
A Scene by Tropa23

BURGUNDY: Cerise, are you ready?

CERISE: I was born ready, Burgundy.

BURGUNDY: Are you sure?

CERISE: I've been practicing.

BURGUNDY: For 2 hours?!

CERISE: What's so hard?

BURGUNDY: Hitting the bull's eye.

CERISE: Piece of cake.

BURGUNDY: What if you miss?

CERISE: Don’t worry.

BURGUNDY: I don't know…

CERISE: Trust me.

BURGUNDY: You said that before.

CERISE: You got out…

BURGUNDY: Two weeks later!

CERISE: Just stand there.

BURGUNDY: Not too hard.

CERISE: Open your eyes.

BURGUNDY: No.

CERISE: OK. I promise.

BURGUNDY: What?

CERISE: Not too hard.

BURGUNDY: Is it sharp?

CERISE: When are knives not?

BURGUNDY: Aim for the apple.

CERISE: Then don't move.

BURGUNDY: Don't plan to.

CERISE: One… two… THREE!

BURGUNDY: (yelp) Agh! Call… 9… 1…

Not letting go...

I don't want to let go of the part of me that i really like... and miss. This is from a scene from a play i'm writing called "A Dance in the Garden of Memories" aka "Letting Go" aka some other title that i'll come up with in the next couple of minutes. this is my favorite scene because it includes the LAST song i ever wrote for someone and sang it for... peace and hopefully many more songs to come.

===========


(slow jam music starts to play)

LISA
I can't believe that seven years have gone by already. Thank you.

R.J.
Right back at 'cha. (pause) You know, I just realized that this is how we first met… with us dancing.

(Music fades out)

R.J.
Lisa, I just wanted to let you know that these years with you have been the greatest of my life. We started out as kids in college with no money, and now as adults… still with no money… but we'll get there… and I want to make sure that it's together.

(R.J. sings)
DEAR, DO YOU WONDER
WHAT IT'D BE LIKE TEN YEARS FROM NOW?
CUZ I OFTEN DO

THERE, WE WOULD BE
TOGETHER YOU AND ME
WAKING UP IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS

AND IT WOULD BE THE GREATEST
DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME
IF ONLY YOU'D SAY YES TO

(RYAN gets down on one knee and opens a box with THE RING.)

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

(Speechless, LISA just nods her head “Yes” and he puts the ring on her finger. They kiss and hug.)

RYAN
(Offstage V.O. through the walkie-talkie)
Dude, what'd she say?

(LISA Picks up the walkie-talkie)

LISA
She said, yes!

RYAN AND MOON
(Offstage)
Whoo-hoo! Yes!


MOON
(Offstage)
Ha! You owe me 10 bucks!

(“Celebration” by Kool and the Gang is faded in as the Lights fade out.)

RYAN
(V.O.)
This is for R.J. and Lisa - the newly engaged couple. See ya at the wedding!