when did tinikling turn into double-dutch?

so i'm watching the above video and i'm like *tilting my head to the side* saying to myself "when did tinikling turn into double-dutch?" i'm torn on whether to embrace it or cringe at the thought that this is being done. the purist is saying that this is wrong mostly because it creates a farce of a traditional dance. but the artist in me, is like sayin' yo this is like hip-hop where we take different generations of art and infuse them to create something new a beautiful. something original yo!

di ko alam. while watching it, i could hear beej saying (even though this is a dance rountine) "Don't Bastardize the Language!" in this case - is this art or bastardizing a tradition that's passed from generation to generation. sometimes i hate trying to look at things from two different points of view instead of just flat out saying I Love It or It Sucks and they should be ashamed. but in my head I have to rationalize both sides to develop a clear opinion.

i know this is a cop-out but i am torn, but more leaning towards, wishing it was more traditional. the director in me is looking for the angle of an embrace of both worlds. as i mentioned earlier, a tradition is something passed from generation to generation so that culture won't disappear. i learned the tinikling from this guy named Mark something while a jr at sac state for our very first PCN! we used PVC pipes to rehearse with and they hella hurt if you get caught in them. and they were heavy too. but when it came to the show using bamboo... it was a breeze. sorry i got off my pedestal and took a trip/journey down memory lane... but i digress... where was i. so f'n random!

but as a director i would have the traditional dance first and then have the younger generation come out with their interpretation of the dance and both groups can experience both side of having fun. the dance is a part of a village/barangay's fiesta. it's supposed to be fun. so that's why i give this updated version some slack, but oooo... if they did this new twist to Singkil!? daymn, i'd be out the door.

i guess what i'm really trying to say is that it's okay to mix things up. dance is meant to be whirled up in order to create something that is always evolving. that is art. but i just hope that the audience comes away with the feeling that there is something more traditional/historical behind this version.

i'm THIS close

so i'm sitting in front of my brand new imac with firefox open with 8 tabs exploring the possibility of doing something that will cost A LOT of money. *sigh* this is my version of window shopping. all 7 windows (the 8th is this blog) have something to do with RENT, Costa Mesa, Southwest Airlines, and the Wyndham Orange County Hotel all at a grand total of.... $457.15 FOR ONE DAY! "No day but Today" is ringing in my head. I have the money, but i just can't really justify going. if this was in Seattle maybe, but SoCal. plus by myself. there's a difference between being stupid and using all of this fundage and being with someone else and being stupid together... i need a girlfriend :( it was much easier to pack up and leave when i was with someone else. oh well.

so i got a free day tomorrow and while sitting at my desk at 6:30pm staring out at the bay, with brain audibly sizzling from being burnt out, i definitely need a day to get away. where to? i don't know. i was thinkin of sac... still an option if anyone else wants to check out marisol. we'll see. what i do need to do is write. i was working on the story for the movement at lunch and by the time the hour was up, i've written almost 2 full pages of what was supposed to be a paragraph synopsis. it's nice to feel like a writer again.

speaking of which... i hope that ONE DAY my play will see the light of day. after everything i heard last night about a certain group, i can just hope. then again, if i want to have something done, it's time to roll up the sleeves and get it done! i can't do it by myself though. hmm... maybe i can do a one person show with puppets? i've done it before with my short play, "hustle and florentine." hehe.

better go. not making much sense again.

Happy Birthday Jen!

Happy Birthday Jen!

i'm sitting here at work looking out at the bay and wonder where i wanna go tomorrow. honestly, my brain is still fried from the prototype i worked on last week, plus taking care of the show as well. don't get me wrong i loved the show, but i'm kinda burned out by that as well. we were even asked by gayle to extend the run, which was an awesome compliment, but that's ok.

so, along with trying to figure out what i wanna do tomorrow, i also have the story for the movement in my head. we have to write a backstory for each of the characters and come up with ideas for each scene. i'm more than ready for the task and that's what i plan to do tomorrow.

but i also have my play. i don't want to wait another year before putting it on. after hearing about stuff last night, it doesn't look like i'll get any support from sftpaa. i wish i could though. looks like i'll have to lean on my friends... and me to get it done. i'm constantly adding to the script. just little stuff here and there. like things to build up jasen's (aka ryan) character. i'm thinking about how to stage the reading, well the actors will still be seated (maybe) but using the techniques i learned from the visual theater workshop with projections would be cool. i just have to research a place to have this. i'd also love to invite college people. i hope that i didn't burn any bridges either... but i don't want to get into any of this right now. but yeah. somewhere in sac would be cool.

i thought, maybe still think, that i could stage this here in the yay area, but it's just hard not knowing anyone.

oh yeah, before dinner last night, i stopped by planet pinoy and found out that they're closing. but, they're having a huge sale. 9.99 on new releases, 50% off other cds and dvds. i bought 2 copies of rj's cd, imago (I LOVE THIS CD!!!! reminds me of Julie Plug and the Sundays), Aegis (daymn she can sing!), and
Brownman Revival (i haven't listened to this yet). imma thinking of going back for more.

oh after dinner, on the way to true love with jen drivin' behind me, we stopped at a light on 15th and G or H, and to left was a house with the living room lights turned all the way on. full brightness. and low and behold, there were full-sized nudie women posters on the wall! what the...? i rolled down my window to point it out to jen and antonio, but noticed that she was looking at the same thing i was. HAHA!!! i was dying! lol. craziness.

oki dokes if i think of anything else to write, i'll make it so. lates.

boooo

i only have a couple of minutes so really quick:

- bummed about news that bindlestiff has to move out
- i have a really bad feeling about me. don't wanna go into too much details, but needless to say, i'm trying to do as much as i can with my life.
- got that kilig feeling... we'll see.
- am i going bald? shit!
- i got some really cool pictures from "Progress in Work": http://focalmatter.com/album/?album=121 (you have to click on one of the thumbnails to see the larger picture. enjoy!)
- work's been a bitch, but it's getting better sorta

my new toy

hehe. bad news. my laptop died yesterday morning. good news. i got a new imac yesterday afternoon. FINALLY! i've been saying that i wanted a new computer for a long time and luckily i've had time to research computers when one of my good friends wanted a mac. and this is the one i wanted as well. it'll do everything that i want and hopefully more. it isn't mobile but will work.

finally getting into the swing of things down here. i'm so gonna miss my cast! we've been getting together since february and we've been going through late nights building our sets, puppets, and story. i just hope that i'll be able to make more friends through them. only time will tell.

so, other than the stiff and work, that's all i've been up to for the last couple of weeks. geez, i'm tired by all of this. kinda funny, cuz my brain is honestly dead from everything going on at the same time! i was just vegging out earlier at work - staring out the window at the bay bridge and watching the boats go by. not everywhere that i can see this.

one thing i'm preparing though is getting my play ready for an eventual 2nd read through and a production. still up in the air whether to produce it here or in the 916. gonna be a lil harder to produce it without money :( come to think of it, i won't even any fundage to go on vaca. i was really looking forward to going to the pi in june and helping out there.

i still miss sac and my friends. i miss "belonging". but things have to get better and only i can get there. peace out!

choice to live

really quick. i was watching one of the pods on current_tv about a holocaust survivor who was one of the fortunate ones to not die on the gas chamber because he and 95 others made "the angel of death" josef menghele laugh while on their way to the gas chamber. what i took from the piece was what he said (paraphrased). "i don't look at like a miracle or how lucky i am to have lived. i'm living today to make the most of life and to not make anyone's life miserable or hard by complaining or being mad at someone. life is made to be living and not to waste life by complaining about it."

back on stage / work / so that's what almost dying feels like?

can't work and it's been FOREVER since i last wrote in here despite having so many thoughts that have run through my head since last posting. so here it goes in the same old random order that defines me...

- last night was opening night on one of the craziest journeys in how i'm continuing to evolve as an artist. one of the major reasons for this craziness is that we started "reheasring" tuesday night. had 2 run-throughs wed night. then opening. but because of the unorthodox way of putting on this production, it has challenged me so much to try and use my skills of being an actor and playwrite, and not to mention being a puppeteer - which i have NO EXPERIENCE IN. and to top that off by learning in front of an audience. pure craziness! but honestly well worth it. i haven't been pushed like this in a pretty long time.

one that comes to mind is acting class with AK. she was awesome, but my final was crazy, cuz she pulled something out of me that i never knew was there. and i think that was the first time i truly appreciated acting on so many levels.

but my legs are pretty sore now from squatting. i called rodrigo last night asking info on how to get knee pads :) hope that champs downtown has em. i'll leave in a couple of minutes.

oh, here's my bio for the program:

Conrad A. Panganiban
Conrad is proud to be making his first onstage performance with Bindlestiff Studio. He is a professional Northern Cali nomad having previously lived in the 813/408/415/707/916 and currently in the 510. When taking a break from moving, he has appeared with the Sinag-tala Filipino Theater and Performing Arts Association (SFTPAA) of Sacramento, Akbayan of SJSU, Inter-ACT in Peter Mellencamp's STRUGGLING TRUTHS, and with Sacramento City College's production of Jeannie Barroga's WALLS. As a playwright and/or director, he has worked with CSU, Sacramento's Samahang Pilipino, AAU's Pinoy And Pinay Artists, Bindlestiff's Stories High, and with SFTPAA which he is also currently a Resident Artist. Many thanks to Ramon Abad, our awesome cast, da TROPAS, my ST family, BJ Alisago, and to everyone who has kept Bindlestiff going all these years!

so, the show is... well, it's in progress. hence the title of our play, work-in-progress/progress-in-work. it's about these two kids (i play one of the kids) who leave their house and their mean lola to explore the city. on this journey, they meet a bunch of different characters: an old man who "loves" little kids, a card dealing hustler, a pimp, a "candy" dealer, and a mystical healer in a cave in a forest. they finally wind back home to their lola. that's the story, and the cast and i are writing it out as we actually perform it in front of a live studio audience. *hella scary* that's where the improv stuff happens. we have basic notes about what we need to do and our blocking and lighting cues - but other than that, we're on our own. so funny, cuz without a script, our first run-through lasted 20 minutes. and our first run-through was wednesday night - a day before we open! it wasn't even a full run-through cuz we did cue-to-cue that nite as well! HA! but, it's a challenge! the whole cast is SO AWESOME! we get along so well, and we're starting to finally realize how much we need each other to pull this off - cuz there's nothing else we can do. we're in front/around/through/behind an audience. oh, funny - haha - when they said, 3 minutes til the house opens, i was the only one to respond with "thank you three!" they prolly think imma dork. it makes so much sense to say it though. like, how else are you gonna know if anybody else is listening. that's one thing i need to ask my lil sis is if her cast @ dloc uses that "thank you (insert time here)" as well. same thing to ask cayote!

- on top of this show, i've been pulling all-nighters working on a project for work. that's been crazy as well. i even got up at 5am this morning to work on it for a presentation to the vp of my company's online division *read: the head honcho*. he loved it. actually, his exact words were "holy shit! that's awesome!" there's more tweaking to be done, but i'm so tired of it, i don't want to look at it until tomorrow, yes saturday, to continue work on it. i'm really proud of it though. i hope that it helps business! in a way, it's funny that i think this way. like i work for a big company, but in a weird way, it still feels like a small business mentality. maybe it's because we, the online brand, is smaller than the brand (stores) does. ick... nuff talk about work other than i'm hella tired and i don't want to work on it anymore today. but the project itself is fun and i've learned a lot from it with the added bonus of more notariety from employees in other divisions. (hint hint: more $$$ and extra leverage if i need something.)

- had a funky episode happen to me last night. so after the show, i was dehydrated and stuff, and i was home, but i had a cold glass of water, and then i started to not feel real good. actually, i thought i was going to pass out. never had this feeling before. i was sitting down, took a drink, then my stomach did not feel good, and i couldn't breathe. when i stood up to try and alleviate the pain, i started feeling really dizzy and instead of blacking out, i started to white out. like everything was getting fuzzy. i balanced myself against the island in the kitchen and tried to calm down, fighting every urge not to collapse. my very first thought was of beej. i was considering calling my sister, but she was asleep and i couldn't even form the words as i gasped for air. in between thoughts of what's going to happen if i collapse and this presentation in the morning and the next night's show, i just prepared myself for an eventual blackout. it never came. i started to breath normal again, but i was very cold. goosebumps like never before. i slowly made my way back to the coach and had, yes i'm stupid like that, another sip of water to calm my nerves. the h2o was more at room temp by then so i guess i was fine. i was scared in a way to think that if i closed my eyes, it was around 12:30am, i don't know if i'd wake up. the tv was still on at 5:00am when i opened my eyes. espn was on and imus was the news. i made it.