short entry

groovin' to: 9er game

quote: i get annoyed with people who write too much! especially on 3 hours sleep!

peace

long live and perspire

groovin' to: the tickin-and-da-tockin' of my living room clock.

quote: live long and perspire!

wat i leant today:
- i need a military belt to match my helmet *grumble, grumble*
- mondavi cab not bad
- an hour and ten minutes can go by really fast
- reading other journals can be fun... but also pretty dang intrusive
- NOT to play the trumpet with the bell facing up up when facing a spotlight (story below)


ahh. day after thanksgiving.... how should i know, my schedule's always messed up. 2 days after turkey day. had a good time with the family even though we didn't do much.

sticking with my policy of not using really names, exept for those that deserves praise or those i get permission from, i kinda miss "michelle". i miss having someone to hold at night, or should i say someone hitting me telling me to quiet my snoring. we still talk often, but it's not the same. we were together for 9 years, practically married, officially "gonna" get married. sometimes, things don't work out, but never say never i guess... guess that's why it's 3:15am and i'm still up trying to sort out these thoughts running through my head and spilling out all over this keyboard, not to mention the glass of mondavi cab at my side. other stuff running through my head...


movie running through my mind: some kind of wonderful... story of my life, mary stuart mastersons life, not eric stoltz's!


just to document this story: had practice today and played trumpet. i think that this is the first time that this has ever happened to me in my 8 years of playing the trumpet. while i was playing, with the bell up, condensation (spit, if you will) came back down the pipe and back into my mouth. sound sucked, plus spit dribbling down my frickin' chin. hope all goes well monday for next dress rehearsal for that number!

came up with pcn idea: a story built upon the real world. 7 strangers picked to live in a loft.... blah, blah, blah. i'm thinking more technical than story right now, cuz it would be totally rad to have the cast's faces be shown on a video screen. probably confessionals too... great another project on the burner for conrad! frick, i have more things on a burner than logs to keep y'alls warm for the winter!

3:30am and i'm yawning up a storm. aha! my masterplan is working! write as much crap at the beginning of the journal so that people will get so bored that they wind up saying, "damn, this dork is boring! Let's bounce." that they miss the juicy stuff that begins here...

some intro. i'm a writer. just my way of building expectation for something that isn't there. as you can tell by my incoherent and random thoughts that... well, that's how i be at 3:31 in the am after a half a bottle of cabernet sauvingnon. *sniffle, sniffle*

had this hella scratchy thing in my throat for a couple of weeks now when i wake up. maybe caused by the cold air plus the turbulent snoring. trying to watch friends more... not only because it's one of my friends favorite shows, but because i wanna study their acting skills... and how they've grown in character and as actors. do you think that the show would be the same if they used the same lines, but with people of color in the lead roles? utopian world yes.

okay, fine i write too much, BUT DEAL WITH IT! INSOMNIAC ON THE PROWL. maybe i'm really sleep-typing! this is all a dream. i wish. i haven't dreamed in a while. maybe it's because i'm trying to dream too much, that i'm too tired to dream.

i can't wait to find the right person for me. sucks being "lonely". okay, this is the honest part of my journal. if ya stuck around long enough to read this than ya really need a life... "michelle's" so funny when she was telling me the hardest part of getting with someone new is that you have to explain your whole life story to them again. after 9 years, ya figure that there's nothing left to tell... but when you find that after 9 years, you still can talk, text, chat for hours, than that can be something special.... yippeee! just my luck to start all over again and wait for that "person" to come along. i keep picturing the script running over and over again in my head. dramatic scene with more unanswered questions... and a broken and confused heart. sorry if this doesn't make any sense to you... but then again it's my journal to keep for myself. in this voyueristic world of xanga, i still like to keep things to myself as i stammer in a drucken stupor and behind tired eyes. it's 3:49am. and none of this is meant for poetic sake.

go away. (so much for the polyanna bullcrap of earlier!) GO AWAY!


you're still here... dat's cool. he was you know. dat nguyen was in most of my advanced math classes from middle to high school. how da hell i got that far... nerd i guess. why is this journal so long... probably because i want something to say, but too scared to say it, so in essense this is a stalllllllll. guess i was just hoping to meet someone...

bad day. *holding up wine glass* here's to a new day! good morning.

groovin' in mah head to

groovin' in mah head to: ang balikbayan box by raine de arco and bj alisago written by loui paman and dee pizaro!

quote: "the opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation!"

my night's wish: that everyone can sleep well tonite... and a job :o(

what i learned today:
- to be utterly confused with the blocking for halina, halina
- call your friends once and a while to make a "live" connection rather than through wires. at least leave a msg.
- it's fun to be a dork
- some of the back up lyrics to give me that old big band
- antonio has a really quick wit! conrad: i bought two shoes yesterday. antonio: a left and a right? smart @ss! hehehe.
- i write a lot!
- where taka was in mid-town


had a okay practice tonite being that it's a day b4 thanksgiving. had a fine dinner w/ frenz at taka's on s and 18th or 19th. came back to my pad and watched a movie with a friend with popcorn and cabernet.

can't wait for the show! can't wait for tech week! just can't wait to be in front of hundreds of peeps again. it's been almost 8 yrs. since i've had the fun of "working da majik" with a crowd. guess that's one of the reasons for movin' back to sac. excited about being in angela's play at city, too! i'm gonna work my butt off for that little role i've been given.

for some reason, i've been such a dork lately! a happy dork at that. feels like nothing can get me down (maybe not having a job yet, but we'll delve into that l8r). weird for someone who has no money and living 260 miles away from home. which reminds me of my long drive to monterey and family and ugh... "why don't you have a job yet? just apply at mcdonald's so you can pay rent." i'll worry about a job soon, but i'm having too much fun to worry about anything.

nobody's gonna (wanna) read this right? ho, hum boring, *looking in both directions. good this is just for me then*... anyways, one of my philosophies about life is that we're all just "dots" in this world and everyone goes around connecting to other dots and eventually those dots lead back to you. for example, my new lil sis, krystle, her kuya, leRoid and i met when we both worked at metreon what... 4-5 years ago, and now i meet his lil sis and mom! small world. life is funny and fun. don't know if any of this made sense, but since i'm probably the only one going to read it... makes sense to moi!

a while ago

grovin' to: Without You from the RENT Soundtrack

quote: "life shouldn't be measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of breaths that take your breath away!"


my mind is now full of knowledge, thanx to my new lil sis xLe!

thinkin' about friendship lately and it's funny how friendster has the word friend in it when everyone on there isn't entirely your friend... know what i mean? should be more like... network-er or acquaintancer or something. fo realz, who has 500 peeps that you can truly call your frenz... well except for melanie f. woman knows everyone! and she's honestly one of the BESTEST person's i'm, as well as over 500, lucky to know!

i'm a terrible friend... but i'm learning from a true friend that i met 9 years ago! lucky to have her in my life... what makes me bad?... well, i guess because i don't keep up with a lot of people when i move away from an area. guess, i've been this way because growing up in a military family, we always moved and didn't keep up with friends. sometimes, i wouldn't know what to say. like if something really bad happened in someone's life i guess i would stand there like a goober and not know what to do... now's different! i know that i can't fix every problem, but i'll be here to listen, kick it with or just to lean on. that's what kuya's are for!

other things...
thinking of more ideas for plays/short stories/screenplays
1) Husky... Life as JUST a KUYA!
2) The Greeter... about a person who's job is it to greet hundreds of people everyday, but sinks more and more into a hole of depression from lonliness.
3) Rent-a-wife: a story about a person who posts an ad about being a part-time-wife/escort/made. based on a real posting i found on craigslist.
4) Finishing a PCN script i wrote 8 years ago about a college kid who learns about life through a wwII filipino veteran's eyes.
5) A Musical about "i don't know yet", but with modern r&b/pop/rock music and lyrics... something like rent.

too many projects on the burner and no job to fund me... c'est la vie und loving it!

first entry

eWow. my first entry...

st is going swellz, but i'm askin' if i'm too old to be doing this xanga thing?. but i've always needed a place to put my thoughts down cuz with old age comes hella memory loss... hi, my name is dori!

good day at rehearsal. short. wish practice was more... more. just wierd, cuz st's used to being so filipino and last minute trying to nail down things... well with the exception of a few numbers, but i trust that these things will get there b4 the show.

glad for the people i've met in these short few weeks of rehearsals. lotta new brothers and sisters that can call me kuya. i actually like that role now, except if i'm like trying to get w/ someone than KUYA KILLS. thankfully, i'm so not looking to hook up just yet. out of a nine yr. relationship!

thinkin' i shoulda started this xanga thing a long time ago b4 i killed brain cells @ csus. oh welps!