tsinilas

so i'm flipping back and forth between going up to sac for the cast party or not. i don't want to drive up there feeling this BLAH! poor mebby... stuffy, but still going on with the show. and to everyone who's ever been blah, but still got up there and did their thing. muchos kudos!

will it be worth it? do i want recognition? why on a wednesday? i'm tired. whatever. have fun. why am annoyed right now. ahh, just venting.

a feeling has just come over me. a feeling of uselessness. after i've been used and discarded. thanks for your time and skills! don't let the door hit your ass on the way out! (finally stepping away from the saloon doors and at a distance) "Okay everyone! Let's Party!"

but i digress. the feeling has passed. one of the things that sucks about all the shit that i've been through with "friends" in the past is that i've learned how to cope and kinda discard those instances once they happen. it does help to vent though without putting the burden of this on someone else. "i'm sorry that i poured all this shit all over you!" thing is though, i won't mind if someone, a couple of people in particular, wanted to vent to me. it'd i guess give me the feeling of some value in the world.

that's all we're looking for actually. the worth of being valued as a person, friend, kuya.

better go. feeling better on the inside, even if the sniffles are causing bubbles out of my nostrils :) ciao!