fear

fear

hmmm... so my brain hurts from trying to figure out a flash thingy, but at the same time, i'm now thinking about my worst fear.

it used to be dying alone, but with the friends i have, i know that won't ever happen, so it made me think of: not being needed any more. not from a job point of view, but from a friend... kuya pov. i've had this same feeling before like jeez maybe 9-10 years ago, but it feels like it's coming back. insecurities? maybe. but thinking about it more, i think that it's more to do with that i don't have anything else going on in my life. i don't wanna be kawawa about it, i'm just stating an issue and now i have to find a solution.

a lot has to do with the fact that i'm so far away from my friends. but i've already covered the fact that i've been in this situation before and "circumstances" have proved that they will always be there for me, and i for them, when needed, but i think it just comes down to me. i'm not happy anymore. just personally. all on me though. think forward to what i need to do to get back there, and all will be good.

i'm not making any sense, but i just need to get back to what i did to be in that state of... joy. we'll see.

on another note, i'm switching to blogging on friendster since mySpace is getting played out for me.