need some time...

taking a personal day today. need some time to figure things out. i'm not really liking where i am in life careerwise. you figure that if you've been doing something for the last 8 years that then you'd think that you're set. (please replace you're with i, in this case) but yeah. and it's not really about where i work. it's the work. for the last couple of months, i've been telling myself that it's JUST A JOB. but when a person spends 8 hours of everyday doing something that they just don't have the heart for, then.... well. i just saw a video of my former co-workers having fun. at first i THOUGHT that i'd be jealous or envious and maybe have a tad of regret for leaving that job, but keeping it real, i wasn't. that previous job is STILL the same thing that i just don't have the heart for. personally, i HELLA miss all of them. they are good, talented, and the some of the hardest workers I've been Blessed to work with. I wish them nothing but the best of luck with that company!

personally, i don't know if i can do this job anymore. this line of work. i'm putting down the list of pros and cons. pros: great money. sit all day. aside from the security of not really worrying too much, although i'm in debt, about the money part... that's it. that's it. the cons of leaving this position... the money.

i'm 36 and at another crossroads in my life. one thing, if not the only thing, in life to remember is that LIFE IS SHORT! live life with no regrets and strive to always be happy. given this "mantra" do what you love and the money will follow. if you don't, or if you get the money first, then will that lead to happiness? unfortunately, in my case. no. right now, i know what i have to do. but after that... then what? where is my happiness. where is the love? in a good way, i don't have to worry about the personal kind of love. sa london? i don't think so.

i have a lot of thinking to do this weekend.