2 cups of coffee?

On my way home from Sac, I stopped off at Suisun for some much needed food. I was half-good. Turkey Club... but with fries. Grrr.... Eating late and fried food. Not good, Conrad! Anyways, I also had 2 cups of coffee and being someone who doesn't drink coffee, I'm still up. But the other reason I'm up is because this chica from muntinlupa is supposed to write me back about something. her letter is hecka brief saying that "kc anu?!! how can i tell you this...pls dont tell anybody?" of course i won't tell anybody. especially since no one ever reads this thing!

but come on. she has a boyfriend. i ain't no spring chicken. i've been around. not in that way. but give me some credit. the only reason why she doesn't want me to tell anyone is probably because either her family doesn't approve or she doesn't want to "hurt" me. dude, there was nothing there to begin with to be hurt by it! so i ain't trippin'. as i said, i've been around, and one thing that i've learned and honestly, no one can convince me otherwise, but long-distance relationships DON'T WORK! the only exception i see is if a couple is married. actually, my fingers are crossed cuz my "pinsan" dito sa states has his wife in the pi and they've been married for a while already, so if anyone can break my myth about this long-distance thing, i hope it's them! they're picture up on facebook is cute na cute! but yeah... no surprise from my end. friends na lang. what else can there be, di ba?

which brings me to another topic, which i know i've already written about, but why do people insist that i can go to the philippines and find a wife there? i haven't the FOGGIEST idea of why people would think such a thing. believe you me, i'm just as shy around females here sa states as i am over there. it's 2am so i'm gonna say what's on my mind, but when i was there, i had ONE connection i felt with someone there. ONE... and i never even got her name. loser! but back to my point of how or why people would think such a thing. being an american, especially a fil-am doesn't mean diddly squat over there. and to be honest, i don't want it to. people are people all over the world. people get mad, lonely, upset, masaya, selos, ang lahat ng emotions, so peeps are peeps at the end. people can be sosyal at plastik! (it's 2am. forgive me if my TAG-a-log is off, no disrespect intended) but still. ramble ramble ramble. i don't know.

i honestly, just want to concentrate on me right now. is that so wrong? the last thing on my mind at this minute is finding my "better" half, which is stupid cuz i'm focusing my whole! (that would sound TMI if this was said out loud)

today's been weird. i've been writing and talking to myself A LOT today. just constant streams of consciousness on so many topics! it feels like this never ending current of ideas/thoughts/dreams/feelings running through my veins and just doesn't want to stop. DAYMN COFFEE!

anyways, better jet. muchacha who works near my favorite mall in the PI, ingats. have a good life. maybe see you in november :D

paalam.