Bindlestiff Bio for the Stories High Reading

One of our awesome producers tasked us into writing a bio that will be used to introduce each of our plays on Thursday and Friday. Since I wrote a hecka long and formal Bio for ST, here's my attempt to just get 'Jiggy Wid It':

Conrad is a practicing magician who excels in the illusion of disappearing from the face of the earth every 4 months to inevitably surface to watch an episode of American Gladiators and a good shot of Patron. You will usually find him flailing unsuccessfully, but with incredible ferocity, in the act of conjuring up something that might be construed as witty reparté which will hopefully find it's way out of the mouth of an AMAZING BINDLESTIFF ARTIST onto the stage in another one of his random 10-minute plays. Not only is he currently a Resident Artist of the Sinag-tala Filipino Theater and Performing Arts Association of Sacramento, but he's also a big fan of sentences that run-on and on and on.