Geez Louise... it's been a while

So many things to talk about even though i REALLY should be going to sleep soon. Where to begin:

- the Movement
I was seriously, yes Meb, seriously??, considering dropping from the show, but i'm really glad that i decided against it. went to rehearsal today and i'm still kinda sketchy on how everything is going to work, but everyone is so talented and i FINALLY feel like an outsider. my opinions are starting to count and people know what my strengths are. we'll it's kinda intimidating that they think of me as a writer, but at least i have enough confidence in myself to step up and basically trust myself and trust my instincts.

but today, we went over scene 3 and the movers did such a good job in portraying the scene that i almost shed a tear. D is so good and i still wonder how i got the opportunity to work opposite her for the visual theater show. i learned a lot from her and hopefully she learned something from me.

speaking of which, we're coming up with this show as a collective. i'm starting to get used to working this way. especially since i'm such a control freak about some things, but it kinda brings me back to when i did the pcn for sac state (i'll talk about more about this subject later in this post) when even though i wrote the script, i was very open to what my cast had to say about what worked with them. i guess my stance was if they were the ones on stage in front of people, most if not all for the first time, then they should do what's most comfortable for them, with of course tightening up the reigns if they're actions didn't fit the story. so this feels like the same approach with this awesome group of artists. but on the whole, i hope that i'm holding up my end at least to make this show work!

- pcn
i was talking to my lil sis earlier about sac state's pcn. plus, i've finally seen all the flyers and shoutouts for pcns in northern cali. i've even joked with my co-worker about seeing some. it's been YEARS since i've seen one and i guess in a way i'm kinda interested how the show's have progressed since i've seen one. i still remember the FIRST one i saw at UCD. it totally blew me away. i was 18 at the time and being from monterey i've never really seen so many filipinos in one place before. yes, it was way before i was voted mr. filipino history man with samahang. hehe. that was a long time ago! i still really regret not telling my friends up in sac about my acting gig with sjsu's pcn. i was on fire that night! :) hey, learn from past mistakes. (well except for this last show in sf. i just didn't feel right of having anyone drive and our and a half down here for a 40-45 minute show. plus, i didn't really know how it'd go off without a script. it did go well though!) back to pcn... maybe i'll write another one... speaking of which...

- the family de castro
this is the title of my new play. started writing it this weekend with hopes that if i do actually have "a dance..." produced, i could have another play to precede it so that the whole show would be around 2 hours. i'm still working on the backstories of the characters as i've learned this to be the easiest way to have the characters speak by know where they come from in the first place. anyways, the short play is about a girl who's about to be visited by a filipino group that might offer her a scholarship to college. they want to meet her family... but the problem is that they aren't very filipino. they are all americanized and the play explores the non-traditional filipino family. i wanted a comedy, but also a social exploration of what defines growing up in a filipino household in America. As newer generations of pilipino-americans grow older in this country, how much of culture will be lost from upcoming generations to generations and what will the filipino culture still be valued in this life in America, when all everyone does is just to get by everyday. so, we'll see how it goes, but i got a good start with the characters :)

- missing sac
i'm trying not to. i'm just tired of feeling kawawa of not having friends to hang out with or not being able to go bowling this past weekend, or watching my best friends have their cinco de mayo gig. i do have my family to take care of. it was my dad's bday on friday and i was bummed. went to monterey to make sure my mom was doing ok. oh, i got attacked by a bird today. it's an experience i tell ya! at any rate, i'll always miss sac, but i live here now. period. i have to start actually living life here and not wish i was back there. life still goes on there without me anyways, and it's unfair for me to wish anything otherwise. i guess all i want though... is to not be forgotten. *sigh*

that's all for now. hella late, but had to get that off my chest. take care and hope that it's not forever before my next post!