The Truth

So i just finished watching a couple of episodes of this show on the net called "quarterlife". So this feels like the movie Singles, but this is updated to include a the main character who is a blogger. The reason that i haven't finished watching the rest of the episodes, i stopped on ep.3, was because of a topic that i couldn't let go of and i needed to get out of my system - telling the truth and saying how you feel. it's not a big shock that this is a problem that i've dealt with my whole life. i don't know why, but hopefully instead of knowing that this is my pattern, i'm starting to do something about it. and again, i have to credit some really good friends who have been honest with me and told me that this IS what i do.

i think my turning point in this whole revelation of me, is that i'm leaving my job. and it's because i'm being true to myself. i felt disrespected and needed to make a stand. but in leading to this point, i really lost myself.

which leads me to the show "quarterlife" and two of its scenes:

1) this guy named Jed is in love with his best friend's girlfriend. ouch. needless to say that this has happened to me. but very unlike me, jed told her, but this was only because, the main character, dylan, posted on her blog that "there's nothing sadder than to be in love with your best friend's girlfriend". the scene was so good in that when jed was trying to actually tell her that he liked her, he initially went around and around in circles, until he stopped to clear his head of all the cluttered words coming out of his mouth and straight up said... i like you. all she did was kiss him on the cheek, said thank you, and left the room. wish i could've been able to do that... not kiss some guy and leave the room, but to tell the woman that liked that i liked here. the romantic in me liked how this scene ended. open questions for future episodes. actually, pretty recently, i've had this situation come up again. but this time, i did say something. unfortunately, things didn't come out fairytale-ish. but the important thing was that i said something. to not at least have another thing i didn't regret not doing.

2) dylan blogged about jed: "the thing about jed is he really is an artist. and i don't know many people our age who are. and i know he won't be happy unless he pursues that." lately, i haven't been feeling very artisty. meaning, i'm not very happy right now with where i am as an artist. it might be because of the lousy critiques i got from my last short play. but whatever it is, i've lost that spark. but i know i still got it somewhere. hope to find it on thursday when i wake up... unemployed.

on to watching the rest of the episodes :)