long live and perspire

groovin' to: the tickin-and-da-tockin' of my living room clock.

quote: live long and perspire!

wat i leant today:
- i need a military belt to match my helmet *grumble, grumble*
- mondavi cab not bad
- an hour and ten minutes can go by really fast
- reading other journals can be fun... but also pretty dang intrusive
- NOT to play the trumpet with the bell facing up up when facing a spotlight (story below)


ahh. day after thanksgiving.... how should i know, my schedule's always messed up. 2 days after turkey day. had a good time with the family even though we didn't do much.

sticking with my policy of not using really names, exept for those that deserves praise or those i get permission from, i kinda miss "michelle". i miss having someone to hold at night, or should i say someone hitting me telling me to quiet my snoring. we still talk often, but it's not the same. we were together for 9 years, practically married, officially "gonna" get married. sometimes, things don't work out, but never say never i guess... guess that's why it's 3:15am and i'm still up trying to sort out these thoughts running through my head and spilling out all over this keyboard, not to mention the glass of mondavi cab at my side. other stuff running through my head...


movie running through my mind: some kind of wonderful... story of my life, mary stuart mastersons life, not eric stoltz's!


just to document this story: had practice today and played trumpet. i think that this is the first time that this has ever happened to me in my 8 years of playing the trumpet. while i was playing, with the bell up, condensation (spit, if you will) came back down the pipe and back into my mouth. sound sucked, plus spit dribbling down my frickin' chin. hope all goes well monday for next dress rehearsal for that number!

came up with pcn idea: a story built upon the real world. 7 strangers picked to live in a loft.... blah, blah, blah. i'm thinking more technical than story right now, cuz it would be totally rad to have the cast's faces be shown on a video screen. probably confessionals too... great another project on the burner for conrad! frick, i have more things on a burner than logs to keep y'alls warm for the winter!

3:30am and i'm yawning up a storm. aha! my masterplan is working! write as much crap at the beginning of the journal so that people will get so bored that they wind up saying, "damn, this dork is boring! Let's bounce." that they miss the juicy stuff that begins here...

some intro. i'm a writer. just my way of building expectation for something that isn't there. as you can tell by my incoherent and random thoughts that... well, that's how i be at 3:31 in the am after a half a bottle of cabernet sauvingnon. *sniffle, sniffle*

had this hella scratchy thing in my throat for a couple of weeks now when i wake up. maybe caused by the cold air plus the turbulent snoring. trying to watch friends more... not only because it's one of my friends favorite shows, but because i wanna study their acting skills... and how they've grown in character and as actors. do you think that the show would be the same if they used the same lines, but with people of color in the lead roles? utopian world yes.

okay, fine i write too much, BUT DEAL WITH IT! INSOMNIAC ON THE PROWL. maybe i'm really sleep-typing! this is all a dream. i wish. i haven't dreamed in a while. maybe it's because i'm trying to dream too much, that i'm too tired to dream.

i can't wait to find the right person for me. sucks being "lonely". okay, this is the honest part of my journal. if ya stuck around long enough to read this than ya really need a life... "michelle's" so funny when she was telling me the hardest part of getting with someone new is that you have to explain your whole life story to them again. after 9 years, ya figure that there's nothing left to tell... but when you find that after 9 years, you still can talk, text, chat for hours, than that can be something special.... yippeee! just my luck to start all over again and wait for that "person" to come along. i keep picturing the script running over and over again in my head. dramatic scene with more unanswered questions... and a broken and confused heart. sorry if this doesn't make any sense to you... but then again it's my journal to keep for myself. in this voyueristic world of xanga, i still like to keep things to myself as i stammer in a drucken stupor and behind tired eyes. it's 3:49am. and none of this is meant for poetic sake.

go away. (so much for the polyanna bullcrap of earlier!) GO AWAY!


you're still here... dat's cool. he was you know. dat nguyen was in most of my advanced math classes from middle to high school. how da hell i got that far... nerd i guess. why is this journal so long... probably because i want something to say, but too scared to say it, so in essense this is a stalllllllll. guess i was just hoping to meet someone...

bad day. *holding up wine glass* here's to a new day! good morning.